Genius in strides...

[Aranight]

All right so I've been trying to figure out where to put all the crazy and stupid things that I've been seeing at work or sometimes when hanging with friends, so I deem this to be the spot.

It also goes along with Arc's love for bash.com or whatever it is he seems to get his endless stream of silly things people do.

[Aranight]

Holy quick fixes Batman! Than man is cleaning off dust cover equipment with an air hose!

I decided not to mention to him that it was settle back down on to even more of the equipment than it was before...

[Aranight]

Quote: So I was driving on home when all of a sudden this cop comes blazing past me, and I figured if he can speed so can I. So I speed up too.

[Draz]

Ha haha!

Everyone knows of Adam, the infamous Kilt wearer right?

Yesterday, he walked by so I invited him to sit with me and my friends having a powwow in teh food court, and the guy starts writing in his notebook, has to go to work and gets up to leave. Right before he left, he asked me if I saw his ex girlfriend, and I said no. Then he said "well, maybe you could help me piss her off, because when we were dating, you would walk by and I'd comment about how beautiful your body was... "
Then my friend Alan, who apparently also has a crush on me, starts geting all green with envy over the fact that someone else just totally hit on me.

WHY? Honestly? Does Nobody see the big fat class ring around my neck? *shakes head*

[Aranight]

Who names their kid Rich Crook?

Why sell cardboard boxes online?

Poor Draz, shall I find you a really big stick?

[Shinigami]

That may prove to be unnecessary within about 2-3 weeks... my arm is of sufficient weight and consistency to be considered a "stick" under these circumstances, therefore may be wavered in unfriendly motions towards the assailants in an effort to ward them off, or can be put to a more... direct... use, if visual cues don't sink in.

[Shinigami]

Seriously saw this at Airborne school, the guy was 2 places ahead of me in the jump line on the plane... When you exit an aircraft, you are supposed to make a vigorous outward jump to clear the platform. On a C-17, you need to take an extra step since the platform extends about 28" past the doorway. This guy moved up to the door, did the turn like he was supposed to, jumped, landed ON THE PLATFORM, FEET STILL PLANTED ON THE PLANE, and by reflex started his countdown(which we use to decide if we need to pull the reserve parachute or not). Needless to say, he got a Size 11 SGT Airborne boot to the ass, then he finally got off the plane.

I've got this crewmember at Treehaven, name's Prindle... he's a real winner, too. If we find a plant with berries on it, he asks, "Is this poisonous?" As he eats it. Doesn't matter what kind of plant it is, even if it's a black berry and obviously isn't --blackberry--. Well, one time we got back to the dorm buildings, and we looked one plant up he ate a couple berries off of... happened to be called Baneberry. Prindle doesn't eat random berries anymore.

[Aranight]

Who's tell their employee during an evaluation that "but I don't have time to watch what you do" ?

[JonathanChance]

I was working for a local group of radio stations this summer, driving their van and helping them out with promotions and such. In June we had a big Harley Davison giveaway involving our affiliates in Mariniette (where I worked), Wausau, and Ironwood. I'd drive the motorcycle to the locations throughout the listening area, set up our prize wheel, hook up the external speakers, crank up the volume, and help the DJs out with the promotion.

OK, we're in front of a garden supply store and pet food shop in Marinette. The line of people waiting to spin the prize wheel to qualify to win the bike is about a hundred feet long. I'm sitting in the van, reading a Patrick O'Brien novel and eating my lunch in the cab when this guy who had been following us since our first remote on day one comes up to me and says "Hey, is this where we come to spin the wheel for the Harley?"

Let's see... There's a line of people a hundred feet long, the fucking prize wheel is right there in front of the store, I've got the van, which is festooned with the logos for all of our stations parked out front with the amber light bar on the roof going, the actual bike we're giving away is on a trailer attatched to said van, there's a giant smegging banner next to the wheelwith the logo of the station on it, and right when he's asking me, the DJ is in the middle of a broadcast from our location, you can see him under the banner talking into the mic. and he asks me me if this is the place!

There is a reason that I can't wait to get back to Stevens Point. 13 more days.... 13 more days.

[Aranight]

If you were told that something is red hot... wouldn't you expect it to be well... red?

[JonathanChance]

James's lesson of the day:

Homemade pickeled jalapenos are much more potent than the stuff you get at the store.

[Draz]

Okay:

If you say things like you expect to get the whole security deposit back fomr a crappy apartment, then you should help to clean the apartment instead of glomping onto your new boyfriend, "fainting" when you're expected to do work, and scurrying away at the nearest opportunity whilst leaving your room a wreck.

*gah!*

Advice from learned lesson: DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT be best friends with someone who clearly only uses you, and aboandons you at every chance they get.

One day at Papa Johns, the night shift ended up making 30 pizzas in one hour: I.e. a pizza/ two minutes, and had to go and find extra help so they could keep up with the 45 minutes of straight phone call orders... Needless to say everyone was uber stressed and panicky, but it was all because the previous manager said nothing about a 15 pizza delayed order and left at the first sign of our restaurant being busy...

and just so I don't feel bad for making fun of other people:

One day, after working ~6 hours straight, lifting boxes and other such crap at Dollar General, I had to go to Papa John's immediately afterwards.
WHen I got there, this was my first ten minutes of work that day:
1.) Dropped cooked and almost ready to go pizza off of the spatula on to the floor... cheese first.
2.) Ruined replacement pizza, by accidentally shoving a batch of breadsticks basically into the pizza so it folded.
3.) Ruined that batch of breadsticks.
4.) Nearly ruined another pizza and breadsticks batch by doing the SAME thing.
5.) topped a pizza and put it in the oven... with no cheese...when it was clear they wanted cheese on their pizza having ordered extra.
So yeah, I felt dumb after that... but it got better.

[Draz]

What I saw on a bike ride back to the HOUD:

Two young boys( ~11-12... at most 13)
riding expensive moutain bikes down the sidewalk coming towards me. They were tlaking and chatting and having a good time. All of a sudden the lead boy veers off and ends up, for some crazy reason, trying to jump this huge ass stump that was a good foot away from the sidewalk. It was like a ramp, in that on one side, it was an even incline and on the other side it was a drop off, with a pit semi dug into the yard, by the stump. The boy hits the dropoff, makes a face and a low groan. Then this boy crosses the street, and basically drives off into a neighboring yard, falls off his bike and starts clutching his groinal reigion. Luckily, his partner was smarter to let the leader do what he wanted and drove on teh sidewalk like any sane person would. When I happened to pass by, I noticed that you could very well see that the stump would have such a consequence on any person who was dumb enough to try and pull such a stunt. Honestly. Pure Genius, I tell you.